Testing Serenity
by craziebaci
Summary: What happens when Aperture Science was funded by the Alliance?
1. Chapter 1

"_**I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."**_

_She relaxed against her restraints, letting loose a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. They'd survived. Serenity had fallen from the air, through an armada of reavers and alliance, and they'd survived. All thanks to her husband. _

_She glanced over at him as he disengaged his trembling hands from the wheel. _

_He grinned back at her. "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I..." The windshield shattered as a giant spike blossomed from his chest. His head lolled forward, already dead._

"_Wash! Baby!" She tore the straps from her body and rushed to the pilot's seat. "Baby, no! C'mon, we gotta go! No!" _

_Mal pinned her to the floor as more spikes flew overhead. _

Zoe Washburne woke, shaking, and reached out to the other side of her bed. She sighed in relief as her hand found warm flesh.

Shepherd Book and Mr. Universe she could mourn, but losing Wash would've been too much to handle.

Zoe awkwardly clambered out of the bed, her hugely pregnant belly making it a chore. Wash mumbled, but didn't stir beyond that. She grabbed her robe and left their temporary quarters in Shepherd Book's old room, heading to the kitchen. Maybe a nice cup of tea would soothe her troubled mind.

The battle had been over eight months ago. The spike had flown over his head, impaling itself in the wall behind him. He'd then struggled out of the chair and dropped to the floor with the rest of them, going into battle beside Mal and the others. They'd gotten the word out about Miranda, cleaned Serenity back up, and were back in the black once more.

She reached the kitchen to find she wasn't the only one having sleeping problems.

"Cap'n." She didn't pester him about why he was there. With the things he'd seen, things they'd all seen, a nightmare or two wouldn't be much of a shock.

"Zoe." Malcolm Reynolds looked at his Second's haggard face and wordlessly passed his newly made cup of tea her way. She accepted it gratefully, and settled into one of the worn chairs with all the grace of a landed whale. He stood and went to make another mug.

"So do you really think we'll find something on this moon? The information is kinda..." She shrugged, "old."

"Doesn't mean it's not good." He took the seat across from her. "We gotta hope we can find something to help our River. Her brainpan can't stand much more of it, and neither can I."

Zoe considered the conundrum that was River Tam. Genius pilot, deadly fighter, scary accurate reader, and more than a little insane. She took a sip of the tea. Maybe they'd get some information to help her at this place. They'd find out tomorrow.

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Chell leaned against the solid surface of her cube as she kept an eye on the door. It hadn't moved for days, not since GLADoS had set her free. Thrown her out, really.

It had felt like success, stepping out of that lab. She'd felt the sun on her face, tasted the fresh air. She even had her companion cube, a surprise gift from GLADoS. The fields before her were filled with promise. So she'd picked up the cube and started off, ready to leap back into society.

That had been assuming society still existed. She had no idea how long she'd been in stasis, but apparently life on this moon had been destroyed. She found ghost towns, filled with the scattered remains of what seemed to have been a fairly rural civilization.

"_...even in the event of environmental, social, economic, or structural collapse."_

The pre-recorded message echoed through her mind. Apparently Aperture had been more right than they'd realized. Whoever had lived here, they were long gone now.

After a day of wandering around, she'd realized what she needed: a weapon. Her cube was great for support, but far too unwieldy to smash things with. And best of all, she'd been well trained in the use of weapons. One specific weapon.

So here she was, watching the door for any sign of movement. The plan was to break in tomorrow, find the portal gun and possibly a crowbar, and get back out. Alive.

There was the hitch. GLADoS wouldn't want to lose the portal gun. It was unique, the only one not welded to the arm of a robot. But Chell needed it to survive.

So she was going back.

**Author's Note!**

**So this is a random idea I had. I'm planning on continuing it, but I'd love to know what you guys think. Many thanks to Lezlarr for being my beta :D  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Something I missed in the first chapter: I don't own Firefly, Serenity, Portal, or any of the characters. If I did, the series would still be running and we'd have Portal 3 by now. **

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"Gorram it, girl! Hold it steady!" Mal wrenched the steering back, attempting to smooth the entry. He was oblivious to River's sudden stiffening, something that always foretold a coming challenge.

She relaxed after a moment, the shock worn off. As Mal directed Serenity to the right place, he glanced over at his co-pilot.

River smiled, a feral smile that sent shivers down his spine. "The mission will be interesting." She unstrapped herself from the seat.

Mal groaned. "Please don't tell me you use Wash's definition."

_**Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die?**_

Mal followed her through the kitchen, only to be brought up short by an angry mother-to-be.

"_Ee-chee shung-hoo-shee._ Everything's gonna be fine." Mal made placating gestures towards her, attempting to slide past towards the cargo bay. "We're taking the assassin reader and the gun-crazy Jayne. I even let him have some grenades. _Fahng-sheen._"

"It'd better be." Zoe didn't bother with threats, just glares. He definitely got the picture, but so did she. She was due to give birth any day now, and her accuracy had fallen since her belly had started nudging her gun. She'd be more of a hindrance than a help.

Mal sent a grin her way, and went to gather with the others. Simon was still debriefing Jayne best he could on what they were looking for.

"You want files that include the words on the data pad. Things to do with brain alteration would be helpful as well. Hopefully River will be able to point out anything that appears familiar to her." Simon hugged River, then stood out of the way.

Mal slapped Simon on the back in passing. "Don't worry, Doc. We'll take good care of her." He led the way planetside.

River followed gracefully, with Jayne not far behind, muttering, "More like she'll take care of us, ruttin' reader takin' all the fun out of things."

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Chell slunk along the shadows, eyes flying over the walls as she checked the angles of the cameras. She's always noticed them before, teasing GLaDOS as she knocked them off the walls with the portals. She couldn't do that now, though. It alerted the computer main frame every time.

She spent an hour navigating the maze of the labs: ducking cameras, dodging turrets, avoiding pools of acid. She knew the enrichment center like the back of her hand, and she knew where she was going.

_**And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute, lunatic.**_

Chell knew she was going to have to face her. Again. In the main chamber. Again. She just hoped she would survive. Again.

There it was: the door to GLaDOS's chamber. Time to go in.

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River reached the door first. It was a surprisingly normal looking door, in a surprisingly normal looking building.

"Time to go in." She smiled, and pushed it open with ease, no signs of a locking device anywhere. The boys took her at her word, and the search started.

They wandered through halls, finding ancient computers that used _keyboards _to interface, of all things. River booted one up as if she'd done it every day, and started scanning through the files. None of the signal words Simon had told them about popped up.

After a few moments, they decided to explore the place a little more. It appeared to be abandoned, no sign that anyone had been here for quite a long time. They knew the other settlements on the moon had been attacked by reavers, so the lack of human touch was to be expected. Yet, everything was so clean, in such good working order.

River practically danced down the hall, bare feet making the slightest of whispers on the carpeted floor. She stepped into a strange, cylindrical tube. "Going down."

Jayne and Mal followed her into the elevator, and she pushed a button, seemingly at random. They began to descend rapidly.

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Chell took a deep breath, and entered the chamber. There was no point in hiding; GLaDOS had eyes everywhere. She clutched the companion cube to her chest, and walked to the center.

**Oh. It's you. I told you not to come back. **GLaDOS's mechanical head swung to face the woman. **What do you want?**

Chell just looked at the AI, unable to respond.

**You can't say, can you? Mute. Let's play a game. Yes or no. **

Chell nodded her head.

**Do you want me to kill you?**

Shake.

**Do you want to test?**

Fervent Shake. _nonononono_

**Do you want to destroy me?**

Shake.

**Do you want something from me?**

Nod.

**Ahh. I know what you want. **A platform rose nearby, the portal gun on display.

Chell nodded her head and started to approach it. A Lightbridge shot between her and the gun, blocking it off.

**Not yet. **

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**

"Mal, we ain't found nothing. Can't we head back?" Jayne perched on a table, making no effort to look.

Mal evaluated the current situation. Jayne was right. Even River was spending more time twirling and less scanning the computers. "If'n ya quit yer whining, maybe. River?"

Her face took on a dreamy quality. "This way." They walked back towards the hallway that led to the elevator.

A metallic thunk came from ahead, and a red light.

_Target Acquired._

"_Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze.._."

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Chell stared at the portal gun, her goal. It was so close.

**I need you to do something. **One of the screens changed to show a scene from a security camera. Three people were fighting off turrets. As they watched, one threw a grenade, taking out several turrets at once.

**I don't want these people here. I haven't refilled my neurotoxin, or I would kill them. So, a deal. You make them leave. And I will give you the handheld portal device. **

Nod. There was no hesitation.

The lightbridge disappeared, and Chell ran forward to grab the gun. Its weight was comforting, familiar.

**Get rid of them. And don't come back.**

Chell was already racing out the door.

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Mal held his back against the wall, listening to the silence. After a moment, a mechanical voice asked, "_Are you still there?"_

He shuddered. "Well, if that isn't a mite a creepifying..."

"Mal, we can't get past 'em. They're blockin' the gorram elevator! And I'm outta grenades!" Jayne spread his hands to show the lack of explosives.

The captain considered his options, what few there were. He was reaching a plan when a girl in an orange jumpsuit appeared beside him.

"Yes, that'll work." What the hell was River talking about?

The girl, who appeared to be a little older than River, set down a large box with hearts on it. She then stepped out into the hallway.

Bullets flew towards her as she shot a blue flash shot over one of the turrets,and an orange flash below the other.

"_Malfunction. Shutting down."_

"_Wuh de ma_..." Jayne muttered as they surveyed the wreckage. The strange turrets were all on their sides, red eyes no longer glowing.

Before any questions could be asked, the strange girl was herding them towards the elevator. River grabbed Mal's hand and followed suit. "Come on. We don't need to be here."

Jayne's patience had faded by the time they reached the elevator. "Gorram it, girl. I can walk myself! Where'd she go?" He'd turned to give her a talking to, only to find empty air.

"Can't leave the Companion." River said in a dreamy voice. She didn't notice the response her words garnered from the guys.

Jayne smiled quickly. "Companion?" One could almost hear the thoughts going through his head, though a decent person wouldn't want to.

Mal's reaction was distinctly different. "We don't need another one of those on board. Cause too much trouble, not to mention the lack of room on my boat."

His grumbling trailed off as they watched the girl come back with the strange cube from before. She happily placed it inside the elevator, and perched atop it so as to give the others more room.

Jayne scratched his head as the lift took off. "There's a companion in there?"

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**AN: Hey guys, thought I'd leave some translations down here for you. I'm only using the same Chinese comments Firefly/Serenity used. **

**_Ee-chee shung-hoo-shee = _****Let's take a deep breath **

**_Fahng-sheen = _****Don't worry**

**_Da Shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze = _****Explosive diarrhea of an elephant**

**_Wuh de ma =_**** Mother of god**

**Hope you like it! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

"So, not that I'm ungrateful or anything, but who are you?" Mal turned toward the girl. After the elevator, their trip out of the building had been fairly uneventful.

She stared in silence at him, while River looked on, head cocked to one side as if listening to something.

Before anyone could comment on the strangeness of the situation, the radio squawked from his hip. His mechanic's voice echoed in the quiet.  
"Ya find anythin', cap'n?"

Mal eyed the girl in the orange jumpsuit a little longer. "We found... something."

"Then ya might wanna get back pretty fast." A cry came through the handheld before Kaylee continued, "Zoe's gonna have her baby any sec'."

"_Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan_..." Mal muttered under his breath. "On our way."

The guys turned to run just in time to see an orange oval open up in the pavement far ahead of them. As they watched, River and the girl clambered out, halfway between them and the ship.

"How they'd get all the way over there?" Jayne asked. Mal turned to find a blue ring behind them, River waving cheerfully from the other side.

"Try it!" She grinned. "It's fun!"

"Ain't no ruttin' way I'm goin' through that gorram thing." Jayne backed away, only to bump into to his captain.

"You think so?" Mal gave a shove, and Jayne went flying, only to crash on the pavement on the other side.

"Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out." River smiled at the girl, as if sharing a private joke. Mal just shook his head, and stepped through. Maybe one day he'd get used to the girl's craziness.

A couple more blurs of orange and blue, and the group had reached Serenity. They could hear Zoe's labor screams from the cargo bay.

They'd made it in time. They ran through the ship, reaching the medical bay just in time to hear the cries of the newborn child.

"Congratulations. It's a girl." Simon handed her to her mother, and backed away to join the others. Most of the crew remained outside the door, a sign of respect to the parents, but Zoe beckoned her captain forward. Mal looked on as his Second cradled her new daughter.

Wash bumped him playfully. "Mal, I'm a dad!"

"Ain't she just precious. What's her name?"

Zoe looked thoughtfully down at the girl. "It's something Shepherd said once. Sara. It means princess." She gently handed her little girl over to him.

Mal looked down at the little bundle nestled in his arms. "Princess. Welcome to the 'Verse."

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As the excitement calmed down and the exhausted little family was allowed to rest, Mal realized that a certain problem hadn't been handled yet. He found said problem in the cargo bay, perched atop that strange metal box she'd brought with her.

"Alright. I appreciate you helping us before, but I don't have strange folk on my ship. Well, I mean I do, but they're my... what I mean to say is, I need to know who you are before we go any further, _dong ma_?" The girl continued to hold his gaze with her huge dark eyes, eyes that seemed vaguely familiar. Eyes that held a similar depth as...

"She doesn't talk." Mal jumped about a foot in the air before turning to see River hanging from the walkway next to him, hair streaming as she dangled upside-down.

"Well, _mei mei_, can you talk for her?" He had accepted River's strange abilities as a reader. Maybe she could understand this newcomer.

River dropped from the walkway and went to circle the girl. "She's a test subject. She's been there a long time." She paused. "Longer than even she knows."

"What's her name, little one?"

"She doesn't have a name. They took it from her, in the center. She was a number. Then she became important, but they still wouldn't use her name. She lost it. Just like she lost her voice." River stopped, and the two girls held eye contact. "She remembers part of herself. She was Chell."

"Chell? That's a-" Mal was cut off before he could continue.

"She went through trials and tribulations," River whisper. Mal stared in shock; River had never interrupted him before. She continued to stand stock still, eyes locked with Chell. "They wouldn't marry safe science. Life gave them lemons. Was she a horrible person? Was she fat?" River's voice started to rise hysterically. "Was she adopted? She doesn't know! She doesn't know! She! Doesn't! Know!"

"River!" Her voice had carried, bringing Simon running. "River, what's wrong?"

Before anyone could calm her, the strange girl reached out and grabbed her hand. Chell drew her hand and placed it flat against one of the sides of the cube.

River immediately quieted. Curling up into a ball, she kept constant contact with the box. Chell stayed sitting on top of it, eyes shining brightly.

Mal looked on at the sight before him.

"Huh."

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Mal looked at his collection of experts as they ran all the tests they could think of on the strange box. It had been hard enough to pry it off the girl, and even now Chell hovered at the door, anxiously keeping watch.

"It isn't giving off any life signals. No heart beats, no brain activity." Simon studied the datapad attached to some electrodes.

"It don't have no mechanical workings, Mal. No moving parts or engines. Don't know what help I can give ya." Little Kaylee stood back from the cube, letting Wash take his turn.

"I don't know what to tell ya, Mal. It's just a metal box." Wash shrugged.

Mal sighed, frustrated. "That doesn't make no sense." He walked out of the medical bay, shaking his head. "I'll just add it to the list."

The rest trailed out behind him. Simon stayed, waving in Chell so she could collect her prized possession. As her hands touched the cube, pulling off the wires, a small alarm went off in the background, alerting to some internal activity. Before Simon could stop her Chell was out the door, happily clutching her Companion Cube to her chest and leaving him staring at the blank screens.

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**A/N: Chapter 3! I'm trying to keep these coming fairly often, I hope ya'll like them :D Again, many thanks to my Beta, Lezlarr :D  
**

**Translations:  
**

**"_Oh, juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan_.." = Oh, this is a happy development...  
**

**"_dong ma_"= understand?  
**

**"_Mei mei" = little sister, used as a term of endearment_**


	4. Chapter 4

"What're you sayin', Doc?" Mal leaned against wall, arms crossed as if to protect himself from the weirdness that seemed to permeate his ship.

"I'm saying, it's not just a metal box. When the girl was in contact with it, it started to give off readings. I couldn't react fast enough to gather any data, but if I could just get some time to experiment..." Simon trailed off at the look Mal was giving him. "I didn't mean-"

"No, I don't think you did. You want to put that girl, the one who can't even speak thanks to experimentin' done on her by folks who jus' wanted data," Mal spat the word out, "through trials and tests all so we can know what her favorite toy is? No, Doc, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna protect her best we can." He started to storm away before turning back, "and you know what? I think she's gonna be a great friend to your sister. Something she sorely needs."

Simon stood there for a second before calling him back. "Captain." Mal paused, not bothering to turn around. "I didn't mean it that way. I, of all people, know better." As Mal went on his way, Simon rubbed his hands over his face, repeating softly, "I, of all people."

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Malcolm made his way to the cargo bay, where the girl seemed to be spending much of her time. A strange sound echoed through the halls ahead of him. He entered the open space to find several members of his crew leaning on the catwalks, watching something intently.

"Spaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccee eeee." His albatross's voice was anything but sweet as she twirled and spun in a large arc around the cube. "Spaaaaaaaaaccceee! I'minspace. So much space. Need to see it all." Chell was following her, arms spread in imitation of an Earth-that-was airplane. "Spaaaaaaaccccccee!"

Mal made his way to the floor before hollering, "Hey! HEY!" The girls stopped in front of him, giggling. River was... giggling? "Gimme a sec, before ya'll go back to your... playing." It almost saddened him to see River somber up so quickly, giving him her full attention. "Now listen, your friend here is gonna stay with us a while, if she wants to," a glance showed Chell nodding happily. "So she's gonna be your responsibility. She's gonna sleep in Simon's old room, and you're gonna show her how we do things on Serenity, dong ma?"

River gave a radiant smile before answering. "Yes, Captain."

"Now, ya'll run along." Mal headed back towards the cockpit, calls of "Spaaaccee!" following him through the kitchen. He shook his head. "Gettin' to be a little too much crazy on this boat."

Jayne glanced up from cleaning Vera, "That aimed at me?"

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Off in the Black, an Alliance Cruiser picked up a small metal sphere that couldn't seem to stop talking.

"I am truly sorry, y'know? She never meant to hurt me. All she wanted to do was get out, and shoved her back in. Literally. I mean, I had this huuuuge arm! And I just POW hit the elevator and down she went. And GLaDOS too, but I am NOT sorry about that. I mean, GLaDOS was never really nice to me, y'know? She was always "You're a moron" and I'd tell her I wasn't, and yeah. that's about it. Hey, what're you doing back there? The guys told me to never let anyone near that hatch, or I would DIE. They told me that about a lot of things, though. Like the light, and detaching from the rail. I guess they were just lying, right? I mean, I'm not going to -" The light from his big blue eye dimmed, and the annoying voice died away.

The mechanic examined the information stored in the metal ball's memory banks, then turned to look at his commander. "I thought Aperture was a legend, that it didn't exist. But, sir, he's telling the truth."

The commander blinked at this revelation for a moment, then shook his head as if to pull himself back. "Punch in the coordinates. We're going to Aperture Laboratories."

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Chell happily followed River to the room that would now be hers. She was so glad to be among people again, people who weren't prodding her and putting her through dangerous tests.

"Simon used to sleep there, but now he shares with Kaylee, so it's yours." Chell thought River sounded a little depressed, that her brother had moved out, moved on. But River shook her head.

"He's happy. And I don't need him anymore." She gave a sad smile before adding, "As much."

Chell cocked her head to one side. River didn't need him? She'd needed him before?

"I was tested on, too. They made me a reader." So that's why she understood her. They were made to fit: Chell to be a mute, River to be a reader. Was that all they'd done to her?

River sat on the cube, drinking in its calming effect, before whispering, "No." She took a deep breath. "I am only lucid some of the time. I'm better now. But I still have times when I act like a child, or when I panic. It worries the others." Chell sat on the floor, leaning against the cube's side. Was River as badly broken as she was?

River laughed. "More or less. I think we're evenly matched in nightmares." The girls sighed, then wandered off to find something to take their minds off the horrors they had seen.

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In the dark of the night, River was woken by loud thoughts screaming from across the hall. She slipped into the other girl's room, silent footsteps not waking the tossing form on the bed.

The cube had been slung to one side, far enough that it wasn't touching Chell anymore. River climbed up onto the bed and moved the cube back into the nest that had been prepared for it. Then she took Chells hand and laid it gently against the cool surface. Chell's thought immediately quieted, but she didn't wake. River sat there for a minute, then curled on the other side of the cube, holding it in place. Perhaps she would get a better nights sleep here.

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**Author's note: Sorry for the wait. Semester ending, Finals, blahblahblah. Not much Chinese in this one, and I hope you all know what Dong Ma means...**

**For the record, this is NOT a River-Chell romantic pairing. Just clearing that up. R&R please!**


End file.
